In my first year with my partner, he asked me if I liked Indian Curry, I said no. When he asked if I had tried it, I said no. He got me to try a very mild Chicken and Almond curry. I have since gone on to eat a variety of curries.
Last week I posted something that I hadn’t originally intended to share. It was a form of action painting. Friend and artist Avril E Jean said “Make more art like that”. Avril is honest in what she likes and what she doesn’t including to her friends. So this week I’ve tried to make more art like that. Like the curry, it fits. Perfectly. I had avoided this messy approach to abstract art because I’m more inspired by Paul Klee, Chagall and Wassily Kandinsky than Jackson Pollock.
This weeks mixed media piece is called “Internal Conflict”. It expresses more viscerally what I was hoping to say with a self portrait. It’s about the conflict between my self loathing and the otherwise confident complex person I am. It includes stitches as a medical reference although the deliberately messy stitches are more Dr Frankenstein than your local ER. It’s painted over ‘42‘ because while I liked the idea the execution never worked. Also because I didn’t have any other canvas the right size. I haven’t covered over the writing of the original completely because I felt it added to the complexity of the new piece. The self loathing is triggered when I make certain types of mistakes or spat with my partner. It’s when the depression hits me hardest. Most the rest of the time I’m interesting enough that my more conservative acquaintances call me a character.