I have been having nightmares since 2005, after my parents locked me in my own house. Mother is a frequent visitor in my nightmares, with classmates from high school also being common recognisable characters. Dad and my brother sometimes turn up with mum. But my sister-in-law has never been in my nightmares. In fact there are only three people who I met post high school who have been in my nightmares. They have been in the protector role; my partner, his mother and a sweet older man I have a crush on. In this format I have to struggle to get to the protector to be safe.
I have nightmares of being back living with mum, of rape and of pregnancy. (Pregnancy is a nightmare because I’m not healthy enough to put the child always first). Anything that makes me feel trapped. Saturday night I had a nightmare where I was kidnapped by space pirates. Generic cast of characters but these pirates were less talk like a pirate day and more Edward Teach.
Treating my sleep apnea with a cpap machine has decreased the frequency of nightmares. However when the depression is worse, they increase again. It’s been a bad six months.
The artwork “Nightmares” was painted over what was originally intended to be the background for a landscape. The canvas size is 12″ x 24″.